Insanity
by Twerksie
Summary: There was only one issue that was keeping the two headstudents from snogging each other, and it was quite simple: she was Lily Evans, he was James Potter, and life just wasn’t that easy. If it was, things would be a bit more peaceful. LJ


**Insanity** By Kimmy 

_Summary: There was only one issue that was keeping the two headstudents from snogging each other, and it was quite simple: she was Lily Evans, he was James Potter, and life just wasn't that easy. If it was, things would be a bit more peaceful. LJ _

**I'm posting this up again because the first time FFnet didn't display it up in the main directory. I apologize to those of you who (somehow) reviewed my non existant story. I really do hope this shows up. **

Notes: This came to me when I was trying to get to sleep one night. it was a brilliant stroke of inspiration, so I jotted down my ideas on a piece of paper in complete darkness. The next day, I got started - but it proved to be harder to write than I thought. But, with some motivation from my muse, and after a little coaxing, it almost wrote itself. Really. Though it did take a lot longer than I expected. But anyway, this is **Insanity** I hope you enjoy it, because I truly believe this is one of my best works. Rofl So...enjoy!

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No one could deny that the two headstudents shared a mutual attraction for one another. It was widely known that James Potter had his eye on Miss Evans, and even though she claimed to hate – no, loathe – the boy, the fact still remained that Lily Evans had been caught staring at the Marauder far too many times for her intentions to be entirely innocent. But of course, Lily Evans would never admit to the rumors floating about that she found Mr. Potter even remotely handsome. Nor would she ever admit that James had somehow worked his way from her nightmares into her most pleasant of dreams.

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The ink bottle fell to the floor with a crash.

Lily sighed exasperatedly, waving her wand once to pick up the shards of glass and glaring at a few passing fourth years who stopped to stare. She was in a particularly sour mood that day, having just served a detention – one that she didn't deserve or earn, mind you – with Mr. I'm-too-famous-to-care-about-anything-except-myself, or as he's better known, James Potter. She had been forced to scrub out the bedpans in the hospital wing – without magic – and listen to the Headboy (How again did he become Headboy?) drone on about how he had pummeled Slytherin in the Quidditch cup competition for the third year in a row! But of course, that didn't stop him from asking her out once or twice every time there was a pause.

The Charms essay she had been working on should have been a breeze for the Charms prodigy, but seeing as she hadn't been able to concentrate and, as a result, had been blowing things up whenever she used her wand, work slowed down considerably.

It was all Potter's fault! That stupid idiot with the stupid hair and the stupid glasses and the stupid hands and the stupid –

Oh, why, in the name of all things good and evil did he have to step into the common room at that moment? The very idiot whose name she despised had chosen that second to enter through the portrait hole, a bored look on his bespectacled face and a snitch – a stolen one, no doubt – held tightly in his left hand. He had already shed his Hogwarts robe and was now only sporting the white polo they were all required to wear underneath them. The mandatory tie had been loosened, but of course, he never really wore it properly anyway, so it didn't make much of a difference.

Lily prayed that the stack of books in front of her was enough to hide her, not keen on talking to James any more than she had already been subjected to. But she ducked behind the stack too slowly, and James had caught a glimpse of red. "Evans!" he said loudly, a grin on his lips, always wanting to be in the limelight. Sure enough, the whole of the common room turned to look at the heartthrob, and almost at once, every girl in the room practically melted, with the exception of the redhead on the cold couch in the corner, who merely sniffed indignantly.

"What?" she mumbled once he had gotten into hearing range.

The grin on the boy's face faded at the icy tone. "Well, hello, grumpy," he said dryly, taking a seat next to her, settling only a few inches away from her space on the couch, which was far too close for Lily.

She changed her position as obviously as she could; making an effort to make James feel as small as possible. Call it a break from his usual overconfident air. She glanced at his face, and saw a small frown, so miniscule it might not have been there, but there nonetheless. Immediately, Lily felt a wave of guilt wash over her, spreading a tint of red across her cheeks. She may have hated him, but she wasn't that cruel. "James," Lily started, hoping her voice wasn't too friendly. The boy looked up when he heard the use of his first name. "What do you want?"

James brightened at once. "Well, I'd tell you what I want, see, but I don't think you'd appreciate accompanying me to the shower..."

The redhead turned a scarlet to match her hair, the friendly moment passing as quickly as it had come. "Potter," she said wearily, "I need to get on with my homework. Hurry it up."

The boy ran a hand through his hair, waking up at the topic. "Er, right. Homework." He cast a hopeful glance at the parchment laying scattered across the table. "That's what I wanted to ask."

"You want me to help you with homework," Lily mumbled dully. "Am I right?"

Grinning and apparently pleased that she had caught on, James said, "Well – yeah. If you could, y'know."

"No," Lily said flatly, grabbing her book bag and searching for another piece of parchment.

"No?"

"No," the seventeen-year-old confirmed, pulling out the parchment and setting it on the table along with a fresh bottle of ink.

The Headboy's face fell, and he remained silent as he watched Lily label her parchment. She glimpsed at him through the corner of her eyes, and noticed the soft brown color of his own. She had never noticed them before, under the glasses. They were strangely reassuring to Lily, and, she had to admit, quite –

Wait.

She blew out an angry breath after she realized what she was doing, and reprimanded herself for even looking at him. She looked back down at her parchment and noticed, in anger, that she had left the quill on the parchment for too long. Sniffing crossly, she placed the quill back in the ink bottle and reached for her wand, all the while being watched by James. Who, by the way, she thought to herself, has the most exquisite pair of eyes I've ever –

But she stopped herself before she could complete that thought. She muttered a quick spell, meant to draw off the ink from the sheet, but she forgot that she never could perform a decent spell when she was distracted, which she so obviously was at that moment. A few milliseconds later, Lily had thrown herself out of the way of the giant wad of burning parchment, and straight into the safe arms of James Potter. A large rumble was soon heard as the fireball collided with the common room wall, and as soon as the smoke cleared, Lily chuckled nervously at the gawking occupants of the common room. "Sorry," she mumbled. But when they did not look away after she had done so, she began to realize...and she looked up, straight into the amused face of James Potter.

"Distracted, are you, love?" he said smugly, his eyebrow quirking.

She did not move right away, lost in shock. She knew she had to; the Gryffindors around them had started to whisper and mutter, but her body seemed to be petrified and unable to move. Besides, she thought numbly, as she watched a slow grin spread across his face, this isn't so bad. It was oddly comfortable to rest in James Potter's arms. But her pride would not let her stay in his arms forever, and once she regained control of her body, she pulled herself up in haste, mumbling, "Don't call me love, Potter."

He cast her an amused sidelong glance, and she knew he was bound to see the distinct red tint of her cheeks. She expected him to comment on it, but instead, he said, "I'll make you a deal."

"No," the Headgirl said at once, but James plowed on, pretending he didn't hear her.

"I'll help you with Transfiguration and you help me with Charms."

"Who says I had trouble with the Transfiguration homework?" Lily exclaimed indignantly.

The Marauder looked at the table, where she had just finished labeling another sheet. "If I know you, that would have been finished by now if you knew how to do it."

Glaring at the parchment as though it had done her a great injury, the redhead chewed her lip. She wasn't about to admit anything. "Maybe you don't know me, Potter," she said, her last defense.

James shrugged, remaining silent and letting Lily mull over her options. She hated to admit it, but James had been right. She usually did save the hardest for last, and Transfiguration was her worst subject. She would have called on Remus to help her with it, but seeing as James was sitting right there and would most likely not rest until he was taken up on his offer...she took a deep breath, preparing herself for what she was about to do. "Alright!" she snapped, shoving her textbook towards him. "Just...hurry it up."

The boy chuckled, staring at the book. After a few moments, he turned towards her and offered it back to her. "Nice try, Evans," he said, rolling his eyes. "You'll probably skip out on your part of the deal after I'm done..."

Lily was insulted. "What?" she said loudly, indignation written all over her face. "You know as well as I do, Potter - !"

But the black-haired boy quieted the Headgirl with a simple shush, and then continued. "You're going first, Evans, and that's that."

The disgruntled redhead fumed in silence for a few seconds, but then said, in quiet tones of danger, "What if I refuse?"

Shrugging, James answered, "Then you don't get any help."

"But I could get Remus," Lily answered, a small smug grin spreading across her face. "I'll ask him for help!"

"Don't celebrate just yet," James advised, smiling. "Remus is out sick, remember?"

"No, he -!" she was about to protest, but stopped short as she realized what James was saying was true. Her mouth dropping in horror, she turned to stare at James, wanting confirmation.

An evil grin formed on his lips. He tapped the face of his watch. "Time's wasting, my pet..."

"I'm not your bloody pet, Potter!" Lily said roughly. She directed a nasty look at him. "And how do I know you won't skip out on your part?" she demanded.

Raising his hands in defense, the Headboy replied, "Am I really the kind to lie?"

Lily considered it. Meanwhile, the glare she was giving him could have burned a hole through his skull – if it wasn't so thick, that is. She thought back, trying to remember a time when James had actually lied to her, but after going through every file in her brain (twice), she had to conclude that James really was an honest person.

Imagine that.

He was smiling softly at her. "Fine," she murmured, tearing her eyes away from his face, and rifling through her book bag for her Charms book. She handed it to him. "Fine. What exactly did you need help with?"

James ran a hand through his hair, sighing dramatically. "Well," he said honestly, "Everything."

"There's no way you didn't understand any of it!" Lily exclaimed, her jaw dropping. "Flitwick went through it twice, and it's the simplest thing!"

"Well, obviously, it's not the simplest thing if I don't understand it!" James argued, frowning heavily.

Lily buried her face in her hands, her words almost intelligible. "Potter, just tell me what page you're on."

"214," he said, flipping to the page. He handed the book to Lily.

"That's 16 pages you haven't studied!" the redhead cried, grabbing the book with surprising force.

A sheepish smile began to spread across James' face. "Er, yeah," he mumbled quietly. "Sorry."

He was met with the cold glowering face of Lily Evans.

"You still willing to help?"

"Just shut your face and listen, Potter," she murmured, shaking her head wearily.

----------------

James Potter's hazel eyes followed the slender finger as it ran along the worn page of the textbook. There was a voice, lovely and melodic, reciting a phrase that was most likely of large value to the Marauder, but for all of its use, might as well have been recited in Mandarin, for James couldn't understand a thing said. He could if he wanted to, of course...

But he was too busy admiring the person the voice was coming from.

To be honest, James hadn't really wanted – or needed, at that – any tutoring from the Headgirl. He was doing quite fine in Charms, thanks very much. He just wanted a little time to spend with the redhead, and unfortunately, bribery had been the only way James had seen around that particular problem. He sat there in silent contentment as Lily chattered on about the basics of NEWT level Charms, watching fondly every time she paused to gather her thoughts and direct a thoughtful glance toward him.

The afternoon slid slowly into evening, but both were too busy to notice or care. And all the while, James never spoke a word, content only to stare admiringly at the object of his affections. She really had no idea – no inkling – what she did to him. Every time she smiled or called him by his first name, every time she flipped her gorgeous red hair over her shoulder, every time she turned a page of her book, every time she blinked made him melt.

He had never really planned on falling for anyone. In fact, he would have been perfectly satisfied if he had lived his whole life being a Marauder, without ever having a real relationship with a woman. But of course, along came Miss Lily Evans out of the blue, screwing up his image of the perfect life, and, without even knowing she was doing so, convincing James that he could never really be truly happy without her in his life. And he fell. Quite hard.

So hard, in fact, that he had never really recovered from it.

"Potter?"

James blinked, still lost in his memories.

"James?"

The Headboy jumped. "Wha-?"

"Did you hear what I just said?" The kindness in her voice startled him, and it must have showed in his expression, for she directed a quizzical look at him. "What's wrong?"

Again, there was an unfamiliar note of compassion in the way she said it. "Erm, nothing," he answered, shrugging. When she continued to look curious, he decided to steer her away from that particular topic. "What were you going to say?" he asked quickly.

"Just that I'm done," she mumbled, a suspicious expression glued to her face. "What do you mean by nothing?"

"I mean nothing when I say nothing, Evans," James said, chuckling anxiously and loosening his almost undone tie.

"Potter, I swear - !"

Ah. There was the Lily Evans he knew. "Trust me, Evans," he said, "You won't like what you hear." And in a way, it was true.

That was enough to shut the girl up.

----------------

"You won't like what you hear."

What in all of bloody hell was this idiot talking about?

"Trust me," James repeated. "You won't like it."

Lily was about to reply with a swotty remark, but she found her lips uncooperative. All she could do was scowl heavily at her companion.

The Headboy seemed to notice this, and – probably in fear for his life – stood up and turned with a quick, "bye."

For the first few seconds, all Lily could do was gape after the boy, but she soon gathered enough willpower to say, "Potter, where the hell are you going?"

"What?"

"You're supposed to be helping me now, if you forgot!"

"Oh. Er – sorry. I just thought – erm, anyway," James strode back to the couch and sat down uneasily next to her.

"You just thought what?"

"Nothing."

"Again with the nothing!" Lily exclaimed, throwing up her hands. She pulled out her wand. "Potter, I swear, if you don't tell me what you were going to say, I'll blast your head off twice!"

James raised a contradictory finger. "Well, see, that wouldn't be possible, Evans. See, you might have two heads, but I, on the other hand, was only given one, so technically, you can't blow off my head twice..." the sparks flying from the tip of Lily's wand was enough to shut him up.

"You just thought what?" Lily demanded again, twirling her wand easily between her fingers.

"I just thought you wouldn't want my help anymore," James mumbled, shrugging and refusing to meet her eyes.

Lily rolled her eyes, but still all the while wondering why he had thought so. "Whatever," she muttered, "Could we get started please?"

The Headboy opened the book, flipping to chapter sixteen. "So," he started uncertainly, blinking at the page. "What are you writing your essay on?"

Wincing guiltily, Lily answered. "Erm. Well – I'm not quite sure, really."

James stared at the object of his affections, genuinely surprised. "You're kidding," he said bluntly, his mouth agape.

"Nope, sorry," Lily wasn't quite sure why she was apologizing to him.

"Well, erm – any idea?"

"Nope. Any suggestions?"

The Headboy had an amused expression glued to his face. He chuckled, and then dove headfirst into the chapter. "Alright – we'll start with transfiguring body parts." He pulled out his wand, pointed it at his finger and muttered something under his breath. It quickly morphed into a quill. Lily winced at the grotesque sight. He transfigured it back once he saw the slight tinge of green spreading across Lily's face. "All you need to do is concentrate on the object and just – ..." he continued his lecture for quite some time, not even pausing when Sirius had popped in to tease him.

It was odd, to say the least – sitting there and receiving help from James Potter. It was strange to see him so serious – so professional, because she had never known James to be more than what she had known him to be. She had always had the upper hand – that is – until now. Seeing him like this, she was ashamed to say it intimidated her quite a bit. What was even more intimidating was that she found that to be quite attractive.

Once they had picked out her topic, James sat by her and watched her write, all the while with the most patient expression on his face. He pointed out her mistakes with a kind voice – a mature voice, she noted – and gave her tips on her writing. Meanwhile, Lily couldn't help the smallest of smiles that was forming on her lips as he guided her.

There was an instance when her attention drifted, however, to the few inches of skin that was peeking out from underneath her tutor's shirt. Unfortunately, Lily had been born with a healthy dose of hormones, and they had chosen that exact moment to fill her head with...crazy thoughts.

All in all, it was turning into quite a strange day.

Together, they wrote draft after draft after draft, working well into the night. And when they finally finished, they were one of the few still left awake. James read it through one last time. "Well," he whispered after he had done so, "We're done." He handed her the parchment, and Lily took it gently, a grin spreading across her features.

"We are?" she asked eagerly.

James nodded, smiling tiredly. "Yeah."

There was silence as the two Headstudents stared at each other, both of their smiles fading. Lily felt a pair of hazel eyes scanning her face, and couldn't stop the tinge of red that was steadily invading her cheeks. Their eyes connected for a brief second, until Lily looked away – feeling as though she had something to hide. Again, her eyes drifted toward the area below his neck, and she noticed something she had not before – a light scar following along his collarbone. Her hormones kicked in once again, and she felt her hand rising up to run her fingers across it...

"Well – good night, Evans," James had thankfully not noticed the hand that had only been a few inches away from him. Lily quickly dropped it, reprimanding herself for being so impulsive.

"Er, yes, good night."

James Potter was a few steps away from the staircase when he heard Lily's voice calling him. He looked back, a questioning look on his face. "Yes?"

"Erm – just wanted to let you know – don't think this changes anything," her voice said sternly. James nodded, a smirk fresh on his face. For though her voice said something, her eyes said another thing entirely different, and no matter how much Lily tried to deny it, they both knew this changed everything between them.

"Good night, love," James called over his shoulder.

End

_So? What'd you think? Personally, I think this is the best fic that I've posted up...(though I'll probably hate it in a few days' time and be completely embarassed when I read it like all of my other fics...). _

Anyway, I would like to thank all of the people who reviewed PNR (my first RLNT fic), and all of those who reviewed my other fics! You guys ROCK!

Oh, and before you review, visit **The Quibbler**...http/ Rofl. Thanks so much! Until next time, Kimmy.


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